I found this on one of my best friend’s Facebook profile and thought is was definitely “blog worthy.”? Daniel McKenzie is a student pastor in Johnson City, TN.? He and I went to seminary together, have done some ministry things together, and have kicked around some “what not to do in youth ministry” books.? As you can see in the body of the Facebook note, Daniel is hilarious!? Enjoy!

In the literary realm of facebook stati, there are many acceptable practices for composing a quality facebook status. Here are some of the more common quality practices?

Hidden Meaning ? Any good Facebook status should have hidden meaning, causing readers to assume a depth of insight for the composer. Simple phrases can have such duality. For example, ??is tired.? This simple statement has multiple layers. One might think the person is simply physically tired, but such a statement begs for further examination. Maybe the person is mentally, emotionally, or spiritually tired. Perhaps it?s a cry for help, masking years of pain and addiction. Whatever the case ? the status laden with hidden meaning portrays depth and poetic insight that will inspire and win friends.

An Inside Joke ? Inside jokes tell many positive things about the composer. First, of all it says that this person has people around them that they consider to be on the inside with socially. Popular phrases for this occurrence are ?has friends? or ?has a life.? Another positive sign from an inside joke is that the person often jokes about with said friends or friend. This indicates a jovial quality about the person signaling to readers ? ?hey, that person likes to have fun with at least one other person who gets the joke.?

Song Lyric ? A quality fall back for a Facebook status is the song lyric. The song lyric can accomplish several things for its composer. First it lets people know of the composer?s musical tastes. For example, from, ??is stop collaborate and listen.? readers might be able to quickly identify ?wow that person also enjoys Vanilla Ice.? But for those readers who may not recognize the lyrical jaunt by Rob Van Winkle this status also has positive implications. They might assume the same poetic insight for the composer that a ?hidden meaning? invokes, not realizing the phrase has been lifted from the lyrical giants of our time. It might also cause a reader to ?google? the phrase and be exposed to finely crafted song. Either way you really can?t lose with a song lyric status.

Begging for Comments ? A status that begs for comments is similar to a hidden meaning status but is less subtle in its attempt at duality. For example, the status ??is ready to give up,? begs sympathy from all who read. Surely, the composer needs a glimmer of hope that all will want to provide with a comment. Likewise, a status like ??wants a piece of cake,? can induce the same sort of sympathetic leanings. Readers might ponder the issue and respond with ?what kind of cake do you like?? or even ?I have a piece of cake, I will bring it to you.?

Paranoia Inducing ? Many a Facebook status can cause feelings of paranoia from its readers. Initially this might appear as a cruel use of the status, but upon further examination this reveals the true power and value of the Facebook status. One of the best methods of behavior modification is a carefully crafted disparaging comment that invokes guilt and paranoia. For example, the status, ??is sick of EVERYONE!? can cause readers to ask in their mind, ??am I one of those included in everyone??? The sweeping generalization that is chosen with precision can speak to all of your Facebook friends, including those who are in your inner circle of ?inside jokes? and those who you wonder how a friend request was ever requested or confirmed because you really don?t know the person. Either way, this status will cause everyone to step lightly around you resulting in more peaceful interactions with all. If everyone made such broad statements we could all be conformed into a joyous, massive brethren of Facebook friends.

And then a comment on his note that follows has one more “Quality Practice:”

What about the literal status update? Let’s not overlook the obvious, my friend. In this virtual realm of networking, we too often log on with expectation of layers. We dig to find the root. The misplaced gold filling. “He says he’s standing in the rain. Does that mean he is depressed? Overjoyed? Is he attending a figurative boot camp with a figurative drill instructor making him complete 75 figurative pushups?” Sometimes we really are standing in line at the DMV. Conflicted over pillow shams. What’s interesting is that the literal status could fit snugly with all of your other acceptable practices. Round peg, round hole.

What are some of your “Quality Facebook Status Practices?”? Inquiring minds want to know!! (hidden meaning intended!)